Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
