Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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