HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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