I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I believe in your delicious
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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