My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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