North Korea, Best Korea!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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