pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
