I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
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I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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