The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
