I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
