wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
