One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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