this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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