I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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