I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
