i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
