that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
