Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
