How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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