I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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