miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize