so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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