I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They have beer where we have blood.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
