Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
try to milk me bitch
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