why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
