I wish I could punch you in the face.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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