There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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