Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
