I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
