How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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