we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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