if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
a search helicopter?!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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