I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
