I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
