Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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