No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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