i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
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I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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