STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
