I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
