I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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