Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
