that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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