In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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