Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
