Tell her she can't have a vagina
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
