is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
