i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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