ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My ATM looks so different sober.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
