Plan B is the new Plan A
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
