glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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