Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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