I think I just saw someone hide a body.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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