Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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