Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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