She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
