I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
