I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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