We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
