All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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