Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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