Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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