I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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