I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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