If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Shame is for Republicans.
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