I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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