My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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