I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
