i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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