He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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